Testimony 04 - Rocco
"Never-ending Love"
Since I have joined this group about eight months ago, I
have been through
many different stages of the p&m battle. Everywhere from
white-knuckling
and day counting to a complete disregard for my salvation in
Christ. At
times I felt like I was getting worse and that all I could
do is to pray
that my heart would change. Well, guess what gentlemen...
today I can stand
before you and tell you that my heart is changing for the
better. A lot
better.
It wasn't until recently that I started to uncover
the roots of my
problems so that I could see how deep the foxhole really
was. As I asked
God to expose my past issues, he was faithful to bring them
out to me IN HIS
TIME. But he did, and as he did I asked to be healed from
those emotional
wounds and asked God to help me forgive any person that I
held responsible
for wronging me. The saying goes (sorry not the Bible but
still good), "To
forgive a person is like setting a prisoner free, only to
realize that the
prisoner is you."
My praise is that God has carried me a great distance and He
still hasn't
set me down. He has restored my relationship with my wife
and my children
and helped me to see what kind of man that He wants me to
be. Without
making the recurring mistake this time of being overly
confident and
thinking that it is all behind me now, I can tell you that I
DO NOT HAVE THE
SAME DESIRE to fall into the same old p&m trap anymore. My
day starts out
with praying that He takes away my desire to commit this sin
and that He
helps me to stand firm. The old thoughts are not nearly as
appealing as
they used to be.
The damage that it causes is more prominent
in my mind
now. When God shines his light, the torn lives of everyone
involved in
pornography become exposed right along with the rest of the
lies that we
choose to ignore. And EVERYONE HERE can be healed of this if
He is healing me, because my draw to porn was dominant in my life JUST
LIKE SOME OF YOU
OUT THERE. Even at the expense of my business, my family and
my salvation.
God does deliver guys. Keep pressing ahead, keep fighting
the good fight,
keep praying for God to change your heart. It works.
May God bless all of you here. I also praise all of the
brothers for their
love and their prayers.
In His never-ending love,
Rocco
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