Testimony 16 - Bill
I don't know if this will help, but I will share my experience.
The death of Jesus didn't connect for me on a real level for quite a
number of years after I became a Christian. The thing that turned
it around for me was the day that I finally understood sin.
I had thought of my sexual addiction as a little wart on my soul. I
figured that if I could just get it removed, I would be able to move
on with life. As the years went by and I didn't change, however, I
began to be shaken to the core of my being.
Then one day God opened my eyes to see how much He hated sin. As I
realized my filthiness before Him, I knew that I had more than a
little wart to remove. My sin was like a cancerous tumor woven and
knotted through the fabric of my heart. It couldn't be removed with
a simple little operation. In terms of my human ability, it was who
I was, and I was incapable of changing myself. If I had to stop
sinning before being acceptable to God, I was going to go to hell.
That's when the death of Jesus made sense to me. I realized that
all of us are so messed up and rebellious against God that we need
something drastic to save us. We need the death of God's Son.
Up until that day, I had thought it was nice that Jesus died for us,
but not necessary. I figured that God could forgive us because He
was a nice guy.
I greatly underestimated the seriousness of sin. Once I saw God's
hatred for it and our bondage to it, I knew that we needed something
incredibly powerful to separate us from it.
The death of Jesus brought that power. First, provides a way for us
to be acceptable to Him in spite of our ongoing weakness. That's
what His shed blood is about. At the same time, it opens the door
for the Holy Spirit to come in and to transform us into something we
could never be on our own.
The day I understood that I NEEDED Jesus to die for me was a turning
point in my life. Since that day, I have had very little problem
with condemnation. I know that I could never be good enough to be
acceptable to God. Only Christ's blood could make me clean, and
only His power can change me.
God Bless,
Bill
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